GBV / Gender based violence Archives

10 Things Your Rape Crisis Counsellor Wants You To Know

Counselling, GBV / Gender based violence, Road To Recovery

1. You can talk to us about anything

We are not here to judge you or any of your behaviours. We care that you feel able to bring anything to the session that you are grappling with or that other people around you are confronting you about.

2. Healing from trauma is tricky

Sometimes it means grappling with very difficult emotions and memories that can leave you feeling ‘raw’ after a session. This does not mean that you are doing something wrong or that you are not healing. It can be a sign that you are working on things.

3. Be patient and proud that you have taken the steps

Not feeling better after one session? Struggling to implement the coping strategies that have been suggested? That’s okay, give yourself time to adjust to the changes and figure out what works for your personal healing journey. Seeking help is already a courageous step.

4. Counselling does not mean that you have to tell us what happened

You can (of course) tell us what happened. But counselling is about how you manage and cope afterwards and how you experience yourself in the world and would prefer to experience yourself.

5. We are here to listen

We recognize that guilt, self-doubt and the ‘what-ifs’ are often tricky visitors. We hope to help you shift them so that you can live the life that you need.

6. There is no ‘right’ time for counselling

Some survivors come within days of the incident, others seek counselling years after sexual violence. We are available to help you at whatever phase you are in your recovery. When you are ready, you are welcome to reach out.

7. Counselling can help

You are not likely to forget what happened. How you feel when you think about it or are triggered in some way can change.

8. Seeking counselling is a strength and not a weakness

It can sometimes look as though others are dealing with bigger things or are dealing with things in a better way. We are interested in helping you explore the strength you have within you.

9. Recovery is possible

One of the myths rape culture promotes is that after sexual violence you will forever be broken and tainted. This idea reduces one’s life to being very narrowly defined and unfair to those other incredible sides of you that we would like to assist you get in touch with.

10. We believe you

What you were wearing at the time was not an invitation to be raped. Any time someone blames you for the crime remember, it was not your actions but the actions of the perpetrator that were criminal.

Written by

Shiralee McDonald (Counselling Coordinator)

Ronel Koekemoer (Observatory Counselling Coordinator)

16th September 2021/by Sino

THE TRUTH ABOUT THE VICTIM SUPPORT SERVICES BILL

Advocacy, GBV / Gender based violence, Making Change, RSJC

The Department of Social Development is developing legislation – The Victim Support Services Bill – which is currently open for comment. When a bill is open for comment you can make your voice heard by making a submission (in this case, to the Department of Social Development) with your input.

WHAT IS THE VSS BILL?

The Victim Support Services Bill was designed as a legislative response to gender-based and violent crimes. More specifically, it was intended as a legal framework that would speak directly to the support services provided to victims of crime. As it stands, the bill proposes that organisations and professionals who provide services to all victims of violent crime register with the government. The cost of registration will be borne by your organisation, and failure to do so could result in imprisonment. The bill also requires that there are always enough human and financial resources to realise the objectives of the legislation, irrespective of an organisation’s own objectives and mission.

A bill that purports to bolster victim support services looks to instead weave needless red tape into the non-profit/non-governmental sector. In essence, the Victim Support Services bill looks to criminalise anyone who does not adhere to regulations that would not actually contribute to the improvement of the services provided to victims of crime.

WHO WILL THE BILL AFFECT?

“If you provide a room for a domestic violence victim, or give spiritual counselling to someone who got hijacked, the bill will make you register. If you don’t, that’s a criminal offence. People aren’t going to know about it so you risk people falling foul of the law.”

Alison Tilley, Judges Matter Coordinator

There is a limit to the support provided by the government to victims of crime. The victim support sector is comprised of civil society organisations – community groups and non-governmental organisations – that provide the care that the government does not. It can be said that South Africa has a rich history of organisations like these stepping up to fill the gaps neglected by our government.

Somehow, in response to that goodwill, the Department of Social Development has put forth the Victim Support Services Bill. One would expect for the bill to support and supplement the admirable work already being done by non-governmental organisations, because without them victim support in this country would be next to non-existent. Instead, the bill (in its current form) would not just create more harm than good, but may very well eliminate the victim support sector as we know it.

If you provide physical, psychological, social or spiritual support to victims of any violent crime, this bill will affect you. From religious leaders, to traditional healers, shelters, therapists, lawyers, nurses, doctors – this bill would severely regulate and possibly eliminate the informal and formal networks of support that victims of crime rely on for sanctuary.

Victims of crime have suffered enough, they should have the right to access any and all of the services that provide them the support that they need. What the Victim Support Services Bill should be doing is protecting and legislating that right.

WHAT CAN WE DO?

Our collective outrage is warranted. But we need to find a sustainable way to channel that outrage in a way that ensures that victims of crime do not end up falling through the cracks due to a lack of state- or civil society-funded support. Victims of crime deserve more than what the Department of Social Development is proposing. We need to stand up and fight on their behalf, and on behalf of the people providing them with invaluable support services.

What can you do?

Sign the petition: https://awethu.amandla.mobi/petitions/save-victim-support-services-demand-rights-for-victims-of-crime-now
Make a submission to the Department of Social Development before Wednesday, 16 September 2020. Send your comments by email to:

Siza Magangoel: Sizam@dsd.gov.za

Luyanda Mtshotshisa: LuyandaMt@socdev.gov.za

Anna Sithole: Annas@dsd.gov.za

To learn more about how to make a submission, please read the ‘Making Your Submission’ toolkit here: https://rapecrisis.org.za/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/VSS-Submission-Toolkit.pdf

3. Spread the word

The Victim Support Services bill will not achieve much beyond asking NPOs to register as service providers, with failure to register possibly resulting in imprisonment. The benefits of the bill (especially if we centre the experiences of crime victims) are dubious, but the consequences to victim support services would be far-reaching. We need to make our voices heard by signing the petition and making submissions to the Department of Social Development (before Wednesday, 16 Sept) as comment to this damaging bill.

5th July 2021/by Sino

Storytelling: How the #SurvivorSeries was Born

Counselling, GBV / Gender based violence, Road To Recovery, Speak Out

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month (SAAM). SAAM is observed to raise awareness and provide education about sexual assault prevention. For the 21st annual SAAM, we launched the #SurvivorSeries on our social media channels. The video series was created during what we dubbed our ‘Storytelling Circles’ – where survivors and members of our organisation got the opportunity to share their very personal survivor journeys.

Storytelling is central to our work at Rape Crisis. Everyday survivors invite us into their lives to walk their journeys of recovery and personhood in our counselling programme. The ‘Storytelling Circles’ were an expansion of that – a group setting of support and empowerment that nurtured a courageously unfiltered expression of the intricacies of the rape (and sexual violence) survivor journey.

Three (3) beautiful women allowed us an unfettered look into their journeys. We allowed each storyteller to speak as freely as they pleased, and the result is an electrically unbridled video series that gets to the heart of the experiences of rape survivors in South Africa. The Circles were led by a storytelling coach, Philippa Namutebi Kabali-Kagwa, who highlights and unpacks the value of storytelling as a medium in the introduction video (that you can watch below).

The #SurvivorSeries is comprised of five (5) videos – including a courageous first-hand survivor account, a second-hand account of a rape survivor’s experience with the police, as well as a Rape Crisis Volunteer’s experiences touching the lives of survivors at our community workshops. What you will hear will be sensitive, sometimes challenging and may be triggering. The videos all have a trigger warning at the beginning – if what you hear does trigger you, please do not hesitate to contact our 24-hour counselling helpline 021 447-9762.

Overview – Phillippa on the power of storytelling

Kath – On the immeasurable value of storytelling at Rape Crisis

Fumana – On what a family member did to her when she was 8 years old

Nomvula – On how a Rape Crisis workshop helped a rape survivor with the police

Nosipho – On her journey touching the lives of rape survivors as a Rape Crisis workshop facilitator

Former Rape Crisis Director, Kath Dey: “At Rape Crisis we believe in the principle of empowerment. Rape essentially takes away a person’s power, and it takes away all choice and agency that they have in that particular moment. There are many things that are traumatic about rape, but that helplessness and inability to have any impact over what is happening is a very powerful part of it.

“Everything that we do at Rape Crisis is designed to undo that. And to renew the possibility of having power, of having choice, of having agency – of being able to have impact on your world and on your life.”

The #SurvivorSeries was filmed by the Msizi Agency.

Written by

Sino Mdunjeni

Digital Officer

30th April 2021/by Sino

Know Your Rights – Your Rights As A Survivor

Counselling, GBV / Gender based violence, Road To Justice, Road To Recovery

We launched the #KnowYourRights awareness work on our social media platforms to ensure that rape survivors are aware of the health rights and health services that they are entitled to access. In an effort to speak directly to specific instances of sexual violence, the mini-campaign introduced our online community to 6 characters – characters that we could either see ourselves in or recognise as members of our communities – and their experiences with rape and gender-based violence.

Being a black woman can be quite a phenomenon

GBV / Gender based violence

Being a black woman can be quite a phenomenon.. the kind of ‘endangered species’ phenomenon.
One moment we go ‘black lives matter!.. black lives matter’. The next we hear or read of our kind being found raped and murdered. Then it’s like.. women’s lives matter too!!

And then we are hurt, angry, sad and terrified. We don’t know what to do. Then we are moved to be part of every action/march/protest against GBVF (Gender based violence and femicide) that there is.. but then we realise these actions do not translate to change or less cases of GBVF. But we do get the needed feeling of having done something and being in solidarity- we are angry together.. we are triggered differently but together.. we cry together.. we voice our concerns together.. we put forward how these can be addressed, together.