Understanding Victim Blaming

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Victim blaming happens when attention is shifted away from the person who caused violence and placed instead on the survivor of sexual violence. It is one of the most common and deeply embedded responses to sexual violence, often so normalised that it becomes almost invisible in everyday life.

It rarely appears in obvious or direct ways. More often, it is found in the language people use, the assumptions they make, and the way they respond to disclosures. It can come from shock, curiosity, discomfort, or a desire to understand what happened, but the impact remains harmful.

Instead of focusing on the person responsible for the harm, conversations often turn toward the survivor’s actions, choices, or behaviour. Whether it is questioning why someone did not report immediately, what they were wearing, where they were, or how they responded, the effect is the same, responsibility is subtly shifted away from the perpetrator.

Because these ideas are so deeply embedded in society, they are often repeated without reflection. They can appear in conversations with friends and family, in community responses, and even within systems meant to offer care and protection. In these moments, survivors may find themselves met with doubt or judgement at the very point they need support most.

The impact can be profound. Survivors may experience shame, self-blame, confusion, fear, or a deep sense of isolation. Many begin to question whether they will be believed or whether speaking out will only lead to further harm. For some, this becomes a barrier to seeking help at all.

Sexual violence is never caused by what someone was wearing, where they were, who they trusted, or how quickly they responded afterwards. The responsibility always lies with the person who chose to cause harm.

Recognising victim blaming means noticing how easily it surfaces in everyday conversations and choosing to respond differently. Instead of questioning survivors, we listen. Instead of searching for fault, we offer belief, care, and support.

If you can’t speak to anyone, speak to us:

English: 021 447 9762

isiXhosa: 021 361 9085

Afrikaans: 021 633 9229

WhatsApp (weekdays): 083 222 5164

 

Written by

Jameelah Ebrahim

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The Impact of Sexual Violence on Sleep and Memory

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The impact of sexual violence often reaches far beyond the moment it occurred. Its impact can reach into many aspects of a survivor’s life, including how they sleep, how they remember events, and how they navigate everyday tasks such as work, studying, and relationships.

One of the most common misconceptions about trauma is that people remember traumatic experiences in the same way they remember ordinary events. In reality, trauma can affect how memories are stored and recalled.

During a traumatic experience, the brain’s primary focus is survival. Rather than processing events in a clear, chronological sequence, the brain may store fragments of information, such as sounds, images, sensations, emotions, or specific moments that felt particularly significant or threatening.

As a result, survivors may remember some details vividly while struggling to recall others. They may remember events out of order, have gaps in their memory, or recall additional details over time.

This is why inconsistencies in a survivor’s account do not automatically mean they are lying. Fragmented memories are a well-documented response to trauma and are often a reflection of how the brain responds to overwhelming experiences.

Trauma can also have a profound impact on sleep. Many survivors experience nightmares, difficulty falling asleep, interrupted sleep, or periods of hypervigilance where their bodies remain on high alert even when they are physically safe.

For some, sleep may feel unsafe because nightmares or intrusive memories bring them back to aspects of the trauma.

When sleep is disrupted over time, it can affect concentration, memory, emotional regulation, and overall wellbeing. Survivors may find it difficult to focus at work, keep up with studies, remember information, complete everyday tasks, or feel present in conversations. These challenges are not signs of weakness or failure. They are often part of the body’s response to trauma.

Healing does not happen overnight, and there is no “correct” way to remember or respond to trauma. Recovery can involve learning to feel safe again, rebuilding trust in one’s body, improving sleep, and developing ways to manage distressing memories when they arise.

Understanding the impact of trauma on sleep and memory helps us move away from harmful assumptions and towards greater compassion for survivors. When we recognise these responses as common effects of trauma, we create more informed, supportive, and survivor-centered communities.

If you or someone you know needs support, we offer free and confidential counselling and support services to survivors of sexual violence and their loved ones.

If you can’t speak to anyone, speak to us:

English: 021 447 9762

isiXhosa: 021 361 9085

Afrikaans: 021 633 9229

WhatsApp (weekdays): 083 222 5164

 

Written by

Jameelah Ebrahim

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Mandela Day Justice Pack Drive

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Rape Crisis invites you to join us for our Mandela Day Justice Pack Drive taking place on Friday, 17 July 2026 from 10:00 to 14:00 at the 2U office (358 Victoria Road, Salt River), where we will be assembling Justice Packs for survivors and their supporters accessing our court support services.

This marks the second year that we are hosting our Mandela Day drive at the 2U office in Salt River. We are deeply grateful to the 2U team for once again opening their doors and partnering with us in support of survivors and their supporters during their court journeys.

What are Justice Packs?

Justice Packs are provided to survivors and their supporters when they access courts where Rape Crisis offers court support services. Court processes can be emotionally and physically exhausting, often involving long waiting periods and moments where survivors may be required to revisit traumatic experiences.

These packs are a small but meaningful form of support during that process. They include snacks, refreshments, and essential items that help provide comfort, dignity, and care throughout long and often difficult days at court.

How you can get involved

There are three ways to support the Justice Pack Drive:

  • Join us at the 2U office (358 Victoria Road, Salt River) to help assemble Justice Packs alongside our team and community supporters
  • Donate funds to help us purchase Justice Pack items
  • Arrange a drop-off of in-kind donations at our Observatory office (23 Trill Road)

Justice Pack items

Essential items:
Cup noodles, biscuits/snacks, juice boxes or water, utensils, small tissue packs, serviettes, sanitary towels

Additional items:
Wet wipes or antibacterial wipes, hand sanitiser (small bottles), energy bars, and small treats such as sweets or chocolate

Banking details for donations

Account name: Rape Crisis Cape Town Trust
Bank: Standard Bank
Branch: Rondebosch
Branch code: 025009
Account number: 073600911
Type: Savings Account
SWIFT code: SBZAZAJJ
IBAN: 051001

Please use your name, surname, and “Mandela Day” as your reference.

Mandela Day is about more than giving. It is about showing up in meaningful ways and standing alongside survivors as they navigate their path to justice. Every contribution helps us provide Justice Packs that offer care, comfort, and dignity to survivors and their supporters during court proceedings.

For any queries, please contact jameelah@rapecrisis.org.za

We look forward to seeing you at the Justice Pack Drive.

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Grounding Ourselves in Unity, Growth, Healing and Purpose

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On 23 May 2026, Rape Crisis staff and volunteers gathered at our Athlone office for our General Meeting – a space dedicated not only to reflection and connection, but also to strengthening the values that continue to guide our work.

This year, external facilitators joined us to lead a series of interactive activities and discussions designed to help staff and volunteers engage more deeply with one another, reflect on the work we do and reconnect with the purpose that brings us together as an organisation.

Throughout the day, the activities centered around our core values of Unity, Growth, Healing and Purpose. These values shape how we work with survivors, how we support one another as colleagues and how we continue responding to sexual violence in our communities with care and commitment.

The day created space for reflection and team connection. It was an opportunity to pause and recognise the importance of building supportive relationships within the organisation itself.

We also took time to acknowledge and celebrate the dedication of our staff and volunteers through long service awards. These certificates recognised the years of commitment, care and labour that so many continue to invest into supporting survivors and strengthening communities.

Moments like these remind us that the work of Rape Crisis is carried collectively. Behind every programme, workshop, counselling session, court support process and advocacy effort are people who continue showing up with compassion, resilience and a shared commitment to supporting survivors.

As we continue our work, we remain grounded in the values that shape who we are and guide how we move forward together.

 

Written by

Jameelah Ebrahim

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What is Vicarious Trauma?

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Understanding the Emotional Impact of Supporting Survivors

Vicarious trauma is not always something people talk about openly, yet it is deeply present in spaces where care, support, and empathy are at the center of the work. It is the emotional and psychological impact that comes from hearing, witnessing, or holding the trauma of others.

Unlike trauma that comes from direct experience, vicarious trauma happens indirectly. It develops over time, often through repeated exposure to the stories, emotions, and realities of people who have experienced violence.

It is sometimes described as “the cost of caring” because it is rooted in empathy. The same ability that allows someone to support survivors with compassion can also make them more vulnerable to absorbing the emotional weight of those experiences.

Vicarious trauma does not only affect professionals like counsellors, social workers, or first responders. It can also affect anyone who supports a survivor, including friends, family members, or community members who are present when someone shares their experience.

Over time, this exposure can begin to shift how a person feels, thinks, and moves through the world. People experiencing vicarious trauma may feel emotionally overwhelmed, exhausted, or numb. They may struggle with intrusive thoughts, difficulty sleeping, or a sense of hopelessness.

In some cases, it can even begin to affect how someone sees themselves, others, and the world around them. This is because trauma, even when experienced indirectly, has the power to reshape a person’s sense of safety, trust, and meaning.

Research has shown that this is not uncommon. In one study, a large number of social service workers reported experiencing vicarious trauma as a result of their work, highlighting how widespread and often unspoken this experience is.

It is important to understand that vicarious trauma is not a sign of weakness. It is a human response to repeated exposure to pain, injustice, and violence. It reflects care, empathy, and the willingness to stand alongside others in difficult moments.

At the same time, it reminds us that supporting others can carry its own emotional weight. Those who hold space for survivors also need spaces where they can process, reflect, and be supported themselves.

At Rape Crisis, this understanding is central to how we work. Supporting survivors requires not only care for those who come to us, but also care for the people doing the work every day. Creating safe, supportive, and reflective spaces for staff and volunteers is part of ensuring that survivors continue to receive consistent, compassionate, and survivor-centered care.

Vicarious trauma also speaks to something bigger. It reminds us that sexual violence does not only affect individuals. Its impact extends into families, communities, and the systems that respond to it. When we begin to understand this, we also begin to understand why collective care, awareness, and responsibility matter.

If you are supporting someone who has experienced sexual violence, it is important to remember that you do not have to carry that weight alone. Reaching out, setting boundaries, and seeking support are all part of sustaining care, both for yourself and for others.

If you can’t speak to anyone, speak to us:

English: 021 447 9762

isiXhosa: 021 361 9085

Afrikaans: 021 633 9229

WhatsApp (weekdays): 083 222 5164

 

Written by

Jameelah Ebrahim

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Dear Survivor

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As a counsellor, I sit with survivors every day. One of the first things I want you to know is that what happened to you was not your fault.

There is no right or wrong way to feel after sexual violence. You might feel angry, confused, numb, overwhelmed, or unsure of what you’re feeling at all. All of this is valid.

In counselling, I often see how difficult it can be to talk about what happened. And sometimes, it’s just as difficult to find the words. Both are okay.

Healing doesn’t follow a straight path, and it doesn’t happen at the same pace for everyone. You are allowed to take things one step at a time, in a way that feels right for you.

You deserve to be treated with care, respect, and dignity. And you deserve support that listens to you and respects your choices.

If you’re not sure about reaching out, that’s okay too. Support will be here whenever you feel ready.

 

With care,

Masibulele

Rape Crisis Counselling Coordinator

 

Support is available whenever you choose to reach out. Rape Crisis offers free, confidential counselling support to survivors of sexual violence.

If you can’t speak to anyone, speak to us:

English: 021 447 9762

isiXhosa: 021 361 9085

Afrikaans: 021 633 9229

WhatsApp (weekdays): 083 222 5164

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Spotlight on Barbara Fortuin

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More than 19 Years of Leadership, Care and Commitment Behind the Work

At Rape Crisis, supporting survivors happens across many spaces from counselling rooms and court support, to advocacy and community work. It also happens behind the scenes, in the steady coordination, decision making, and care that ensure these services are able to function every day. Barbara Fortuin, our Programmes Manager, plays a central role in holding this work together.

Her role focuses on the smooth running and implementation of all our programmes. No two days look the same. While some aspects are planned, much of her day is spent responding to what arises, managing competing priorities, and ensuring that both staff and survivors are supported in real time.

Barbara’s journey at Rape Crisis began in 2006 when she graduated as a volunteer counsellor. She spent the early years of her work providing direct support to survivors before stepping into the role of Counselling Coordinator in 2009, a position she held for more than eleven years.

“That was probably the most amazing part of my journey,” she reflects. “I was completely invested in the growth of both clients and the team of women providing the counselling.”

In 2021, she stepped into the role of Operations Manager, now known as Programmes Manager, where she continues to shape the organisation at a management level. This year marks more than 19 years of her being part of Rape Crisis.

What has kept her here is a deep connection to the organisation’s values of growth, purpose, healing, and unity. These values continue to guide how she approaches her work and how she shows up for both survivors and her team.

For Barbara, survivor centered care is about recognising that the focus is always on the survivor’s journey. “It is about the journey of the survivor, not what I am doing or my role in it, but how I am able to show up in the way that the survivor needs,” she explains. “Everything we do should contribute to their safety, support, and dignity.”

Over the years, many moments have affirmed why this work matters. She speaks about the realities survivors face when they are not treated fairly, when young people struggle to break the silence, and when families and communities feel unsure how to respond. She also reflects on the dedication of those doing the work.

“When staff and volunteers put their own needs aside in the interest of survivors, that is when I know this work matters,” she says.

Working in a space that is constantly changing means learning how to navigate the unexpected. For Barbara, this comes down to self-containment and perspective. “Being able to contain things without letting them spill over helps a lot,” she shares. “I have also learned that it is okay to deal with one thing at a time.”

Teamwork and collaboration are central to how she leads. Grounded in the value of unity, she takes a strength based approach, recognising what each person brings and allowing those strengths to support the team as a whole.

“A supportive team is one where people feel safe enough to support and coach each other, where support is available and accessible, and where it meets the needs of the person asking for it,” she explains.

What she wishes people understood is that the impact of sexual violence does not end when the act itself ends. The effects can last for many years, which means the need for support continues long after.

“There will never be a more important time to support a survivor or the organisations working with survivors than right now,” she says.

She also reminds us that meaningful change often begins with small actions. Believing someone who discloses, offering support, or using your voice to raise awareness in your community can all make a difference.

After more than 19 years, Barbara’s journey reflects what it means to stay committed to the work, to grow within it, and to continue showing up with care and intention. While much of what she does happens behind the scenes, its impact is felt across every part of the organisation and in the lives of the survivors we support.

Thank you, Barbara, for your leadership, your steadiness, and your continued commitment to ensuring that survivors are supported with care, dignity, and respect every step of the way.

 

Written by

Jameelah Ebrahim

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The 5 Ds of Bystander Intervention

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How Small Actions Can Make a Big Difference

Sexual violence can take many forms and does not always happen in isolation. There are moments where others may notice that something is not right, but feel unsure about what to do or whether it is their place to step in.

This uncertainty is common. Many people worry about saying the wrong thing, misreading the situation, or putting themselves at risk. But choosing to do nothing can leave someone without support in a moment when it matters most.

The Five Ds of Bystander Intervention offer simple, practical ways to respond while keeping your own safety in mind:

Direct: If it feels safe, speak up. This could be as simple as saying “That’s not okay” or interrupting the behaviour. Being direct can shift the moment and show the person affected that they are not alone.

Delegate: You don’t have to handle the situation on your own. Ask someone else to step in, whether it is a friend, a colleague, or someone in a position of responsibility. Acting together can make it safer and more effective.

Delay: If you cannot act in the moment, you can still make a difference afterwards. Check in with the person, ask if they are okay, and offer support. Being seen and acknowledged can be deeply meaningful.

Document: Take note of what happened, including details like time, place, and what was said or done. This can be helpful if the person chooses to take further steps later. Always respect their privacy and do not share anything without consent.

Distract: Sometimes the safest way to intervene is to interrupt the situation without confronting it directly. This could be changing the subject, asking for help with something, or creating a reason to move someone away.

Being an active bystander is not about having all the answers or stepping into danger. It is about paying attention, responding in a way that feels safe, and showing care for others.

Sexual violence is sustained by silence, disbelief, and inaction. When people step in, even in small ways, it helps challenge that silence and creates spaces where violence is less likely to continue.

At Rape Crisis, we believe that preventing sexual violence is a shared responsibility. Supporting survivors does not always require big actions. Sometimes, it starts with noticing, choosing to respond, and making it clear that harmful behaviour is not acceptable.

If you can’t speak to anyone, speak to us:

English (021 447-9762)

isiXhosa (021 361-9085)

Afrikaans (021 633-9229)

WhatsApp line (083 222-5164, weekdays)

 

Written by

Jameelah Ebrahim

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F.O.U.R Stalking Behaviours

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Recognising Patterns That Can Escalate into Sexual Violence

Stalking is often misunderstood. It is portrayed in films as romance, framed as persistence, or excused as someone who simply “cares too much.” But stalking is not about affection. It is about power, entitlement, and control.

For many survivors of sexual violence, stalking forms part of a wider pattern of coercion. It may begin with excessive messaging, monitoring social media activity, or repeated attempts to initiate contact. Over time, it can escalate into harassment, intimidation, sexual threats, and in some cases, sexual violence.

Understanding stalking as a pattern rather than isolated incidents is crucial. One way to recognise this pattern is through the F.O.U.R. framework. Stalking behaviours are often:

Fixed: An individual becomes intensely focused on someone and believes they are entitled to that person’s time, access, or body. They may create a narrative in which a relationship exists or is inevitable, even when it does not.

Obsessive: The behaviour begins to dominate their actions. They may track movements, monitor online presence, gather personal information, or repeatedly attempt contact across multiple platforms.

Unwanted: The contact is not mutual. Boundaries have been set, either explicitly or implicitly, and are ignored. Consent is absent. The person on the receiving end does not welcome the interaction.

Repetitive: The behaviour continues despite clear signals to stop. Messages, calls, appearances at home or work, and other forms of contact occur again and again, creating a climate of fear and hypervigilance.

Stalking is harmful because it erodes a person’s sense of safety. Survivors often describe altering their routines, avoiding certain places, limiting online activity, or living with constant anxiety. This restriction of freedom is not accidental. It is part of how control operates.

In the context of sexual violence, stalking can function as grooming, intimidation, retaliation, or ongoing coercion. It reinforces the message that a survivor’s boundaries do not matter. It creates fear that silence and compliance are safer than resistance.

At Rape Crisis, we understand that stalking is deeply connected to issues of consent, power, and bodily autonomy. No one is entitled to your time, attention, body, or presence. When contact is unwanted and repeated, it is not romantic. It is a violation of boundaries.

If you can’t speak to anyone, speak to us:

English: 021 447 9762

isiXhosa: 021 361 9085

Afrikaans: 021 633 9229

WhatsApp (weekdays): 083 222 5164

 

Written by

Jameelah Ebrahim

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The Rape Culture Pyramid

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The Rape Culture Pyramid is a tool used to understand how sexual violence is sustained within society. It shows that violence does not exist in isolation. It is connected to everyday attitudes, behaviours, and systems that shape how we understand gender, power, and consent.

At the base of the pyramid is normalisation. This includes sexist attitudes, rape jokes, locker room banter, and language that minimises consent or questions survivors’ credibility. These messages are often dismissed as harmless, but they create an environment where entitlement to another person’s body can take root.

When harmful beliefs are normalised, they shape how communities respond when someone discloses violence.

In the middle of the pyramid are degrading and violating behaviours. Stealthing, contraceptive sabotage, unsolicited sexual images, stalking, groping, and the non consensual sharing of intimate images are not minor incidents.

They are serious violations of autonomy and dignity. Yet many survivors describe how these experiences were minimised, excused, or reframed as misunderstandings rather than recognised as abuse.

At the top of the pyramid are acts of sexual violence such as rape, drugging, and molestation. These acts do not emerge from nowhere. They exist within a broader culture that too often excuses coercion, manipulation, threats, and boundary violations.

For survivors, this is not an abstract framework. It reflects lived realities. Many speak about how warning signs were ignored, how degrading behaviour was normalised, or how their experiences were questioned.

The pyramid reminds us that prevention does not begin only after a crime has been committed. It begins with challenging harmful attitudes, confronting degrading behaviour, and refusing to tolerate violations at any level.

Combating sexual violence requires more than individual accountability. It requires cultural change. It requires shifting how we talk about consent, how we respond to disclosures, and how seriously we treat so called everyday behaviours that undermine dignity.

Survivors deserve more than reaction. They deserve a society committed to prevention, accountability, and respect at every level of the pyramid.

If you can’t speak to anyone, speak to us:

English (021 447-9762)

isiXhosa (021 361-9085)

Afrikaans (021 633-9229)

WhatsApp line (083 222-5164, weekdays)

 

Written by

Jameelah Ebrahim

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Send us an email

Email: communications@rapecrisis.org.za
Complaints: complaints@rapecrisis.org.za

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