Dealing with recovering from trauma during COVID-19 lockdown

The possibility of a lock down was on everyone’s lips even before the declaration was made. Along with this came uncertainty and anxiety about the future and high levels of anxiety about how one should respond to feel safe from harm. Conflicting stories and opinions and panic buying seemed to be compressed into a few days that simultaneously felt like they lasted for an age. Anxiety felt as contagious as the virus we had all been warned about.

At Rape Crisis we saw our clients prioritising their physical safety from the possibility of coming into contact with the virus by deferring face to face counselling until the lock down was over. Some are taking up the telephone or WhatsApp messaging counselling option that we have made available. We are all having to be a lot more creative and open to opportunities. For a short bit some survivors and their loved ones are faced with the reality of surviving the acute phase of their trauma on top of the current crisis of moving into isolation. It is a shock to the system, an unimaginable threat that shifts one into survival mode that depletes one emotionally and strips supermarket shelves.

Where does that leave someone who has experienced sexual trauma? Their trauma has not necessarily gone away. They may already be feeling vulnerable, helpless and sometimes hopeless for the future and now the added weight of this effort of keeping safe from the virus makes for a double layer of anxiety that feels inescapable. People don’t feel safe and this is the everyday lived reality of a survivor after rape.

Added to this is the fact that we all need to isolate and physically distance ourselves from one another. Whilst this can be a blessing for some survivors there is also a potential sense of loss. Not only loss of self but also loss because the people that provide strength and comfort are not necessarily there in the way that they might have been there if we were not in lockdown. As a rape survivor you might be feeling disconnected anyway even although there are people or family in your homes with you. People are so caught up with adjusting to this new normal that to focus on anything other than what is right in front of them is a challenge. Some of you might also be feeling extreme grief that the world is irrevocably changed and there is no certainty about what that change will bring. You might even minimise your experience by comparison with what is going on in the world but at the same time you might struggle to push symptoms you are experiencing out of your mind. Constant worry and other intense emotions might be keeping you awake. And yet other symptoms might surface in feeling irritable, angry and frustrated without being able to put your finger on exactly why. You might be feeling quite depressed and angry at the pointlessness of it all. Angry at people wondering the streets when they should be indoors. Angry and fearful.

Someone reminded me today that “survivors are sometimes stronger than many of us”. I am privileged to witness the resilience of clients passing through our counselling services. It is with wonder that we get to witness the different ways in which survivors and their loved ones recover and make meaning from what has happened.

I watched a lecture today that crystalised all the information that I had been reading elsewhere about COVID-19. It is based on the premise that our thinking affects how we feel and influences our behaviour. Or you could say, our emotions or anxieties feed our thoughts which at times like these can become pretty torturous. Thoughts like these have the potential to keep us up at night and or distracted from what we would like to do. This leads us to behave in particular ways. So what do we do about this? How do we stop the wheel from circling and calm anxiety down? There are a number of methods and techniques that fall under three themes: Meet basic needs, quiet the mind, and stay connected.

Along with these two aspects is sleep hygiene. Dealing with poor sleep is absolutely critical to anyone suffering trauma and anxiety. When we sleep better it helps our mood. Get up each day and go to sleep each night at the same time. It can be tough especially if you are struggling with sleep. Try and limit electronics at least half an hour before going to bed. As tempting as it is, try to avoid playing that one last game on your cell phone or watching one last episode on television. Develop a good ritual for rising and going to bed. This will form part of your own personal structure to your day. If you do find yourself unable to get to sleep then get up, leave the bedroom if you can and find a space somewhere in your home that you don’t necessarily disturb others do something for yourself until you feel tired. If your sleep is disturbed for example you suffer from nightmares and can’t get back to sleep again, get up and find something that helps distract you until you feel tired again. Don’t give up on sleep. If you are really desperate reach out and call the rape crisis helpline – our counsellors are on duty all 24 hours of the day and night.

Information about COVID-19 is on every news station and social media feed. Limit the number of times in a day that you or your family access information about the virus. Vitally important is to only read news that comes from credible sources. Remember rumours are not facts but rumours have the potential to spread fear and this can be contagious.

A big issue that helps quiet the mind of course is to adjust to the new normal and create as much certainty as you can in your own world. Your day and week no longer look the same. The rhythm of home is not the same as working from your workplace or school. Involve your entire household in developing a structure and routine. Try to separate the weekday routine from the weekend routine so that you keep track of the days. Try to wake up at your usual time and then when you are ready get up. Make your bed, get dressed and put your shoes on so that you can kick them off when you go and relax as a sign to your mind and your body that you are changing gear. Prepare and eat meals at your usual time as well as doing other household chores in the same routine as usual. This can really help you stay calmer and more grounded.

If you have been in counselling or you feel that you would like to speak with a counsellor, reach out. Now just like any other time is important, take care of your mental health. It can be helpful to speak with a counsellor so that you do not feel so alone and with painful thoughts. The Rape Crisis helplines are available at any time of the day or night.

Of course even the introverts amongst us need some form of social stimulation. During times like these people are finding creative ways of connecting. Musicians are putting on concerts from home, comedians live streaming shows and the act of standing in your doorway at 8pm each night in solidarity and gratitude for all those who are in the front line for us is also a way to connect. Talk to your neighbour over the fence or through the window while making sure to keep the recommended 2 metres away. Speak to the cashier when you go out to shop. These small connections are just as important as the deeper ones.