Dreams are not all dreamy
Dreams are not all dreamy
We all dream although we don’t always remember our dreams. Dreams are a bit like the brains way of processing all the stuff that has been going on throughout the day including things that you may be struggling with. We might wake up and chuckle a bit or are puzzled by them because our dreams can be a little bizarre or extraordinary or impossible in reality. Many people have at one time or another had a nightmare. For a survivor of sexual violence, nightmares are no laughing matter. They are a symptom of trauma. One of several troubling symptoms that can recur years after the incident has happened.
You are in a heightened state of anxiety
Nightmares wrench you from sleep which is a state that in any case makes you feel vulnerable. Those immediate moments as you wake from a nightmare feel real, as though it is a movie being played out and it is as real as real can be. It is as though time stands still. Your heart races, you may wake in a sweat, you physically brace yourself for whatever might be coming your way and your mind is filled with panicked thoughts and you might even be screaming. At the very centre of those moments you feel as though you have no control and you don’t feel safe. You are in a heightened state of anxiety. Alarm bells are blaring. Until you realise that it is a nightmare. As you look around and realise that you are safe the physical symptoms start moving down. The thoughts might still be there just hovering about and checking that all is really okay. As your day goes on you may be left with residual feelings from the nightmare.
Feeling unsafe
The central theme of feeling unsafe can sometimes make you feel anxious going to sleep in case the nightmare returns. This can leave you feeling helpless, emotionally drained and physically exhausted. Often those around you don’t get it. You wish that there were ways in which you could make the nightmares stop.
It can be helpful to seek counselling and work through how you can best manage the symptoms you experience as a result of trauma including nightmares. Every person is unique in their journey and also in their recovery process. It is never too late to seek help.
Here are a few tips that might help nightmares:
- Try and have a routine around going to sleep that helps calm your mind and body
- Pamper yourself for example, use a nice smelling lotion or play some calming music
- When you wake from a nightmare, remind yourself that you are safe, that the danger is past and you are okay
- If you can’t go back to sleep, call our 24 hour Helpline and speak with a counsellor
- Some survivors find it helpful to pray or journal
- Attending counselling is a space where you and your counsellor can explore ways of managing your nightmares so that you feel safe enough to get a good night’s sleep, empowered and able to face the day

Written by Shiralee McDonald Counselling Coordinator at Rape Crisis Observatory Office.
(featured image credit: Success)